SOME LESSONS I'VE LEARNED ALONG THE JOURNEY

Lesson #1.    JESUS IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER – MY TESTIMONY -

Remember the cartoons where someone gets a piano or a refrigerator dropped on their head from a four story building?  That is how I learn my spiritual lessons.  Some people are quick learners and respond to gentle correction, but not me.....Oh no!  Not me! God had to bring out the big stuff to get my attention.  And get it, He did!  Getting back to the piano falling, God did that for me.  I say “for me” because it was the best thing that He ever did on my behalf – besides dying on the cross.  I grew up in a Catholic home, went to church every Sunday, attended the appropriate catechism classes, etc.  I had complete head knowledge of who Jesus was and that He died for our sins.  End of story.  Case closed.  Nothing more to look at here folks!  Needless to say, that does not make me a Christian, so as a teenager, I rebelled, drank a lot, smoked, took drugs and ran with boys.  I so longed to be “in” with the crowd and now I was.  I was having the time of my life.  Sin always looks fun and fashionable on the outside.  It isn’t until you peek beneath that you see the true story.   Sadly, for some they never get the chance to see what is underneath and repent before they die in their sins.  I thank God for His never ending love, mercy and grace.

At the age of 17 after many months of acting like a fool, I was pregnant for my first child.  Earlier that year, I had slipped on some ice and hurt my back.  The full extent of which would not be revealed until later.  As my tummy expanded, my back started to really pain me.  It ran down my leg and made my foot numb.  An appointment with the physical therapist revealed that I had two broken discs in my back.  Being pregnant at the time, there were no pain killers I could take, only Tylenol, which was like air in a pill.   All I could do was lie in bed with one heating pad for my back and one for my leg…..and cry – I did a lot of that.   To get around, I needed a wheel chair and required assistance from my parents just to make it to the bathroom.  Having your parents lift you on to a toilet and in and out of a bath tub doesn’t do much for your ego.  There’s no modesty left in that situation.

This one day in July of 1988, for some strange reason, my mom asked me if I had accepted Jesus as my savior.  I must have looked at her as if she had two heads.  I knew who Jesus was, why would she ask me such a silly question?  She said, “Maybe you should talk to Him”.  When she left my room, I thought about what she said and realized that I had been chasing my own will for far too long and it was not working out – especially now.  I decided to give it a shot.  I told Him (in my head) how sorry I was for my sins and asked forgiveness.  I told Him that I wanted Him to be in charge of my life from now on.

At that very moment (and I do mean instantly) I felt a tremendous heat coarse through my body.  It began in my head and worked its way down to my feet.  When the heat left my body, it took with it about 75% of my pain.  For the first time in months I was able to stand up on my own and walk short distances.  What no doctor could do for me, Jesus did!

Luke 11:9  “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

2 Corinthians 5:17  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Matthew 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

#2  GOD FORGIVES OUR SINS, THE CONSEQUENCES WE OWN

I wasn’t raised in the woods by a pack of wild animals so as soon as I received the news that I was pregnant, I immediately cut out cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol.  Unfortunately it was one month down the line and the damage was done.  I had no prior knowledge that anything was wrong with my child.  I went for the ultrasound and was given a clean bill of health.  I had found a woman who has a healing ministry.  When she sings, people are healed.  He traveled the New England area of the US with her band.  On Friday and Saturday nights, she would come to different towns and rent a venue at a local school or conference room at a motel.  I started going for healing for the remainder of my pain that didn’t leave.  After the singing, talk, and offering part of the service, people are invited to come forward if they want prayer.  At the very first service that I attended, I went forward with the others and stood in a line.  She came down the line, laid hands on people.  Some fell on the floor, others walked away after prayer.  I wasn’t sure to expect for me.  When she got to me, she smiled at me and said nothing but laid her hands on my round tummy and prayed earnestly for my baby-to-be.  “That’s sweet” I thought, but what about me.  She did lay hands on me and I felt light headed and fell back into a seat.  Little did I know then that God spoke to that woman about my child.  When he was born and check out I was told he was a perfectly healthy little boy but as the day and night wore on, he was turning blue and I knew something wasn’t right.  By morning, the pediatrician came to make the rounds and I was told that my child had a heart murmur and it was nothing to worry about as most babies outgrow it.  And hour later a team of specialists were summoned from a bigger hospital and hour and a half away.  My child was taken by ambulance to a pediatric hospital.  When I arrived there the following day, there he lay with wires and tubes and a big old IV stuck in his forehead.  I was given the news that his heart condition was multifaceted and would require open heart surgery to fix.  That same child is 25 now and he’s had ten surgeries so far and counting.  I found out much later that a child’s heart is the first thing to form in the womb in only 30 days.  I didn’t know I was pregnant the first month and continued on my debauchery rampage.  By the time I quit (and I did not do it alone by the way – God removed all addictions from me and I had no withdrawal symptoms) it was too late.  I sometimes think back to that day of prayer and wonder if my child would even be alive today, had God not intervened.  So you see, the sin was forgiven, but my prior actions, which hurt another (namely, my son) I have to live with for the rest of my life, as God has not chosen to supernaturally heal him yet. 

Galatians 6:7  Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 

Lesson #3.   GOD’S WAYS ARE ALWAYS BETTER

I had been very active in my church choir for many years.  I loved the people I sang with, I loved my choir director, I loved the priest, and even the physical building was pleasant to look at.  I took no issue with anyone.  One day out of the clear blue, the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart.  He was telling me that my time in the Catholic Church was over.  I began to wonder if it was really God who was laying this on my heart so I prayed about it.  I stayed at my church for a year, while I told no one but continued to pray.  He was telling me that loving my choir was not a valid reason for staying.  I asked Him for confirmation if this was really His will for me. 

Confirmation came.  Out of nowhere a woman joined our choir.  She sat behind me and for some reason, she didn’t like me.  It was as if I had a bull’s eye on my back.  This woman clearly didn’t like me and made no bones about her distaste for me.  Even my sweater draped over the back of my chair bothered her and I was told to remove it.  It was getting very annoying.  One day she stood up and gave us all a talk about the “contention” in our choir (something none of us were every aware of as we thought of ourselves as a family). 

It was then that I realized this woman (whomever she was) was sent by God to irritate me to show me that even my close circle of choir friends, whom I loved so much, can change just like that.  I left the church and as soon as I made my decision, that woman also left and no one has ever seen her again.  Of course my friends didn’t understand when I told them that this was God’s will for my life.  They hounded me to return but in the mean time I was given a dream (as a second confirmation) and at the end of the dream I heard God say “they will not accept you anymore”.  I called the office to withdraw my membership and the attitude from the office manager was so cold, I bet you keep ice cream cold in her office (confirmation #3).  I love how God never gives just one confirmation but doubles up on them so as to remove all doubt that it is from Him.

Isaiah 55: 8-9  “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than you’re your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Lesson #4.   WHEN GOD SAYS WALK IN HUMILITY, HE MEANS IT – THIS ONE HURT A LOT!

Fast forward to 2011;  I have now been at a Presbyterian church for a year, when God decided that this would be a good time to give me a lesson in humility (never a fun experience).  May I say here, that God’s patience just amazes me.  He let me go all those years with a stubborn spirit of pride before He had had enough from me.  My lesson began at church – how appropriate.  I have a little boy who LOVES to run more than anything. Okay, so he LOVES attention more, but running is a close second.  After sitting for an hour in Sunday school, he is ready to run a marathon down the hallway.  I was standing in a group of people after service (one of them being a very handsome single man who I liked by the way – I am single also).   The assistant pastor’s wife was there and she is always so friendly to people.  I often wondered how nice it must be for those of her inner circle of friends to say they know the asst. pastor’s wife.   It was while she had an audience that she proceeded to give me lesson in proper parenting.  That didn’t go over well with me.  I was like a snow covered volcano just waiting to “nuclear” on her.

On the way home and all the next day… AND the next, I replayed the same movie in my head over and over, recounting the embarrassing encounter and what I “should have said” to her, etc. etc.  I wasn’t even aware at the time that again God used a woman from my church a vessel to get my attention about something He wanted to change.  I’m just wallowing in self pity over the whole ordeal, busy taking the spec out of her eye and totally missing the log in my own. 

Once I put my temper on ice, I began to pray.  At first my prayers were not very nice (if you could call them prayers) but as I pressed in and inquired of God as to why that happened and what He wanted to show me, my heart softened and I began to look at the possibility that I was wrong to feel angry with her.

One of the elders called me when he noticed I had not been coming to Sunday service in over a month.  We talked and I finally told him what happed and “who dunnit”.  Once he realized it was the asst. pastor’s wife, he immediately told her how hurt I felt.  I had no idea that this woman didn’t realize her words were so cutting.  I was thinking she was a mean, stuck up, church elitist, child hater.

The following Saturday, I was at home, cleaning toilets, when the doorbell rang.  It was her (insert scary background song here).  She was standing in my hallway with her cute exercise outfit on as she just got done at the gym. . I know this because she apologized for being in those clothes and explained she just came from the gym.  Not a hair was out of place, by the way.  Her make up was perfect as if she was the cover model for a Sports and Fitness magazine.  I on the other hand, was wearing NO make up what so ever (is that screaming I heard?).  My hair looked like a bird had been nesting in it, and I’m donning my best toilet scrubbing clothes.  I looked like I slept in a dumpster for the night.

There we stood the two of us so polar opposite.  She came to apologize.  By this time, God had shown me that I had a wicked spirit of pride welling up in me, so I had repented of that bad boy.  He also showed me that my humiliation at church was necessary to open my spiritual eyes to that fact, so I knew that this woman was sent by God to “help” teach me something important.  I explained the whole situation to her about my pride and repentance, and on and on I went.   

In the mean time, my little sprinter (the one who LOVES attention) decides to run between us in the hallway, making as much noise as he possibly can, thus proving her point that I have an out of control child and I need to step up the discipline (as she suggested).  Well, he wasn’t getting anywhere with that tactic so he took it to a whole new level and stripped naked, dropping his diaper on the floor in front of her, and proceeding to run and laugh right in front of her.  At that point, I stepped in (as I felt my lesson in humiliation was now complete).  We parted on friendly terms and I went back to church for a time until that same familiar feeling came over me and it was time to move again.

Daniel 4:37 c  And those who walk in pride He is able to put down

Lesson #5.   SUBMISSION IS NECESSARY FOR BLESSING

I started a new job in January of 2014.  I love my job, I love the guests that I serve (food service) and I love the staff…..all but one that is.  Everyone at my work is very grown up and polite.  The managers know how to ask for things to get done in a friendly manner.   One supervisor though, has a difficult time with this concept.  She doesn’t ask, she tells (and it a not-so-nice manner).  This really upsets me like a stick in a bee hive.  I stewed about her behavior and again, played that tape over and over in my head, until I decided to bring it before the LORD (why don’t I save myself a lot of trouble and seek Him first?). 

He showed me that I need to learn to submit to her authority (love those lessons).  “Okay, LORD, I’ll do it”!  I decided that I was going to 1.  Pray for her and not judge her (I don’t know her personal life and that could be an underlying cause for her grumpiness),  and 2.  Be polite, nice and submit to her authority.  Once I started doing that, and getting quite good at it, I noticed she was hardly on the schedule the same days that I was.  God needed her (again, a woman – at work this time) to help me learn yet another lesson.  To be honest, I’m much happier now that I was ever was.  I can’t change the actions and words of those around me, I can only change how I am going to deal with them – and the answer is LOVE!  You would think that after all these lessons, I’d be just about finished but no….there’s more….The world is God’s classroom (for me anyway).

1 Timothy 5:5  “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders.  Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Lesson #6    DON’T BE SO QUICK TO COMPLAIN (BETTER YET, DON'T COMPLAIN AT ALL)

This is a short one (THANK GOD).  I must be getting proficient at learning my lessons because the duration is getting less - Gotta love that!   Part of my job description is to bus tables after guests leave.  Some people tip and others don’t because it is a self-serve buffet.  I come by and take plates and cups, etc. constantly then bus the table when they leave.  It’s kind of like a child’s toy car that winds up and runs on a circular track – that’s me!  I keep doing my rounds over and over again.  This one day, I had a large party of eight people (always more difficult than the smaller groups).  They had small children (God have mercy, they are the messiest eaters!).  My party left the table so I went over to clear it and wipe it down.  I noticed as I was clearing the table that there was no tip.  Here it comes – Mr. Ugly Anger, because I thought I gave them good service throughout their meal and “deserved” a little reward.  Immediately, the Holy Spirit convicted me and reminded me that I have the wrong attitude.  Fearing an attitude alignment coming from on high, I repented of my thoughts on the spot and asked Jesus to change them for me, as well as giving me a servant’s heart.  I realized that although the tips are great and they pay the bills, if I am to be a follower of Jesus Christ then I need to be the lowest and servant of all.  It CAN NOT be about the money (that would be an idol).  As I picked up the last plate to put on my tray, there on the table was a $10.00 tip.  That was the most I had ever gotten.  God showed me!  It wasn’t until I repented though and laid down my greed that God revealed the money.  Humility first, blessing later!

Proverbs 22:4  By humility and  the fear of the LORD are riches and honor and life.

I pray this has been inspiring to you.  We all deal with our flesh screaming at us for worldly pleasures whether it’s to argue with someone we feel wronged us, or refusing to submit to authority, or greed perhaps.  Satan attacks us in many ways and we need to be aware of his tactics and have discernment so as to not fall into the traps he lays for us.  God has equipped us to handle these situations but we need to not lose our focus on Jesus and bring all things to Him.  For He alone has the power to heal our brokenness and grant us the strength and endurance to keep going.  None of us are perfect – no, not one, but God and Christ alone!  Praise God that He has humbled Himself and came as a man, to be tempted in every way so that He understands our flesh nature.  His grace is sufficient for ALL!